My Red Indian Self

Several years ago I wrote about  ''My Celtic Self'' in this blog.

Now it is time  to reveal and introduce you my Red Indian self.

I have been thinking and trying to understand all the eveidences , coincidences, dreams, desires for quite some time.

And today I am sure that there is a Red Indian self in me. Whether from past life or I am in connection with Red Indian collective sub conscious.

I was born a family whom had a small garden in İstanbul and we used to grow our vegetables and fruits in our garden. Also we had a flower garden where I used to spend all day for preparing the garden for the spring. It was like all day meditation. We also used to have chickens , ducks even geese. We would need only milk, meat and beans  from the shops. Beside that my father had a small boat so we used to go for fishing in the Bosphorus summer time.

So when I was 7 I started  primary school. Those days whenever some one ask me to draw a picture I would draw only one picture. With childish lines of course. A cowboy shooting someone but that someone was a shape of a kind of ghost as  spirit. And I was thinking inside ''I am spirit  no one can kill me ''...

I also remember I used to ''talk to God''  every night before I go to sleep. I was calling like this as being a small child . Talking to God! What I have done right and what I have done wrong that particular  day I was reviewing the day . I was actually introspecting with myself . And decide how to behave in such situation next time. May be I was  talking to my higher self...When I told this to mum she said ''It is a sin to talk to God stop doing this.''...

Those days I used to love spending time in our garden alone...Playing my flute next to a small pool where ducks and geese were playing around. You would find me on the trees...Hours and hours I would roost like a chicken on the tree branches. Alone on my own with enjoying myself.

Years passed and when I was in high school I was having quite difficult times during preparation university exam. I graduated from İTÜ Mechanical Engineering faculty..So it was a quite hard work I had to do. Those days I remember I was having heavy head aches. One of the moment with heavy head ache, spontaneously I imagined  myself as dolphin swimming in the ocean with my dolphin friends. Jumping and going deep  in to the sea with full of joy. I was having a picture of swimming dolphins on one of my notebook those days. My headache was gone after few minutes. I was able to connect the joy of nature and yes it healed my ache.

After so many years in 2008, I joined personal development courses and went through my subconscious. During those day I had chance to listen Peruvian musician in our community park. After that an  old Red Indian male image started to appear in my mind. When ever I had hard or good moments it was appearing in my mind. Just like remembering a picture you have seen before.

For  years I have doing some workshops with kids...Workshop which would strengthen children's ties with nature...Recently I have establish a instagram page named kucukagacdoga (meaning little tree in nature) inspired from Education of Little Tree book. Many years ago I started to read it but could not finish it. Now as I read the book I suprise how I find myself in the book.The book is about a little boy whom is taken cared of his Cherokee grand parents.

I even correponded with a Cherokee felow...I wanted to learn abour Cherokee culture and specially child development practises.

By the way I joined child development education in univercity. And now I write children books...

Deep of my heart I would like to dedicate myself reconnection and/or strengthen the child and nature connection.

Well live goes o and we are meeting with our new selves on the way.

I am sure everything will find its meaning at the end of the road...

xxx